Friday, February 12, 2010
Blog post 4: Intercultural communication
Communication between people of different cultures may result in confusion and misunderstanding. This is usually caused by the lack of understanding of cultures. We often think that we know about the cultures in Singapore, but this is where we’re often mistaken.
There was a time when I was at my sister’s-in-law parents’ place for her ‘mehndi’ or ‘henna’ ceremony which basically involves colouring of the bride’s hands with dye for good luck. Her Indian parents were serving food and drinks to the guests. However, having eaten before the ceremony, I was pretty full. Upon thanking the mother and refusing dinner, I realized that I had made a mistake as she was clearly offended. By refusing to eat, I had insulted her which wasn’t my intention. To make up for it, I took second helpings of the food and complimented her on the ceremony. I had initially thought that I knew a lot about the Indian culture from my constant watching of Bollywood movies, but I was clearly wrong. I’m glad to say I have learnt a lot more about the Indian culture from my sister-in-law consequently.
The importance of intercultural communication is clearly presented in the above example as I had to explain to her that I did have dinner about an hour ago but I would be glad to sample a little of everything. Instead of shying away and ignoring her, I understood her position and immediately tried to placate her to ensure that she understood I was not shunting her culture. The only way to ensure racial cohesion is by fostering intercultural communication.
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Hi Jihan,
ReplyDeleteYour post is very interesting as you describe a situation that is considered as highly cultural in nature. In a case such as yours, it would be expected that you would not offend the indian tradition.
However, from your post, it seems that your case is not restrained to the indian context. Refusing to eat at any wedding event or party could be seen as offensive for the organiser.
Maybe it is about the fact that indians take it as very offensive for anyone to refuse eating. In other words, they see it as very important for the guests to eat. If that is the case, then you have effectively described an intercultural conflict.
Dear Jihan,
ReplyDeleteHi, interesting post with regards to your experience. Having prior knowledge of the Indian tradition, I know that they place high importance on serving food to their visitors and that people should be fed, even if you do not eat you should accept the sweet deserts they serve up which is more important to them.
Like what you suggested for my case, it is good to google and find out more about another's culture so as to prevent such awkward situations from occurring. Perhaps its also important for open communication from both sides involved. You might express that you are full but could just grab some of the deserts to show respect for the host. The host might not have been offended but perhaps just abit worried whether you were not used to the food or whether she could conjure something you would prefer and was just trying to be a really good host. (something I observed for the indian culture)
Hope that all of us learnt from this that we should learn more about someone's culture before going over for even a simple meal. Be it dressing, taboo topics over dinner or table mannerisms.
Best regards
Ying Hui
Hi Jihan,
ReplyDeleteI agree with what Chris said regarding refusing to eat during weddings. It is a turning down of the goodwill of the organisers, and might even lead to other guests thinking that the food is not good.
It was a relief you managed to salvage the sitaution by your quick thinking and emancipation of the host's feelings, which eliminates chances of misunderstanding that could potentially affect the in-law relationships between both families.
It goes to show that being in a multi-racial society, the harmony we perceived actually treads on thin ice. Your sister-in-law's family might have thought you disliked Indian food based your refusal to eat, which clearly would not have been evident in the case if you were an Indian.
Dear Jihan
ReplyDeleteIf a westerner were to do what you did--declining to eat because one was not hungry--would the westerner be forgiven? Probably yes.
Are we more forgiving of foreigners than we are of our own Singaporeans?
Regards
Happy
Dear Ms Goh,
ReplyDeleteIf found in the same situation, the Westerners would probably be forgiven but that is attributed to the reason that they do not reside in Singapore. Not being surrounded by the different cultures, or even if they do in their home country, the majority cultures are different. We are more forgiving of foreigners as we know that they do not know much about the cultures found in Singapore. As Singaporeans, we should make the effort to find out more about our fellow citizens interests and habits so as to not offend them when presented with an opportunity to interact.
Taking this into account, we would be more forgiving of Westerners who reacted inappropriately then a fellow citizen.
With regards,
Jihan Abdat